Become Aware of What You’re Feeling

Direction: Start by bringing your attention to the present moment. Check in with yourself by asking, “What am I feeling right now?” This simple yet powerful question interrupts the autopilot response of suppressing or avoiding emotions. Pay attention to any physical sensations, tension, or emotional discomfort you’re experiencing. Awareness is the first step in regaining control, as it shifts you from a reactive state to an observant one.

Why it matters: Awareness is essential because most emotional suffering occurs unconsciously. By noticing the feeling, you bring it into conscious awareness, making it easier to work with.

Example: You might notice tightness in your chest or a sense of unease without knowing exactly why. This sensation is a clue that something within you needs attention.

Identify and Name the Emotion

Direction: Once you are aware of the feeling, name the specific emotion you’re experiencing. It could be fear, sadness, anger, frustration, or another identifiable emotion. Naming the emotion helps separate you from it, reducing its unconscious hold over you.

Why it matters: Naming an emotion activates the brain’s prefrontal cortex, helping you distance yourself from the emotional experience. It’s like shining a light on something hidden, which reduces its power.

Example: If you feel tightness in your stomach, ask yourself, “Is this anxiety or fear?” Once you identify it, say to yourself, “This is fear.” This acknowledgment helps you relate to the feeling rather than be consumed by it.

Allow the Emotion to Exist

Direction: Instead of pushing the emotion away, allow it to exist. Don’t resist, deny, or judge it. Accept its presence without labeling it as “good” or “bad.” This is a radical shift from the instinctive response to avoid discomfort.

Why it matters: Resistance amplifies emotional pain. Acceptance, on the other hand, allows the energy of the emotion to flow naturally, reducing its intensity.

Example: If you feel anxious, acknowledge the anxiety and tell yourself, “It’s okay that I feel anxious right now.” This self-compassionate approach softens the grip the emotion has on you.

Feel the Emotion Fully in Your Body

Direction: Focus on where the emotion is manifesting physically in your body. Tune into that spot, whether it’s a tightness in your chest, a knot in your stomach, or a lump in your throat. Sit with the feeling and allow it to intensify if it wants to. Avoid distractions or numbing behaviors.

Why it matters: Emotions are energy in motion. By feeling them fully, you allow the energy to move through your system instead of getting stuck.

Example: If sadness feels like a lump in your throat, focus on that feeling. Notice its texture, temperature, and movement. By fully experiencing it, you’re allowing it to complete its cycle.

Avoid Analysis or Judgement

Direction: Avoid analyzing the reasons behind the emotion or judging yourself for feeling it. Thinking, “Why am I so upset?” or “I shouldn’t feel this way” only strengthens resistance. Let go of mental stories and focus on the pure sensation of the emotion.

Why it matters: Analyzing shifts you into the mental realm, keeping you stuck in the cycle of rumination. Feeling the sensation directly allows you to release it more effectively.

Example: If you catch yourself thinking, “I’m always stressed,” gently bring your attention back to the physical sensation in your body, like the tightness in your chest, and feel it without attaching a story to it.

Let Go of the Need to Control or Fix

Direction: Surrender the need to control or fix the emotion. Don’t try to “get rid” of it. Allow it to unfold naturally, trusting that it will pass on its own. This requires patience and faith in the process.

Why it matters: Attempting to control emotions only increases resistance, making them stronger. Letting go allows for natural resolution.

Example: If you feel overwhelmed, don’t rush to calm down. Instead, say, “I don’t need to fix this right now. I can let it be.” This reduces pressure and creates a space for natural release.

Stay Present and Observe

Direction: Watch how the emotion evolves. Sit with it and observe its shifts. Notice changes in intensity, location, or quality. Often, when fully felt without resistance, emotions start to fade naturally.

Why it matters: Emotional energy dissipates naturally if we stop feeding it with resistance or stories. Staying present allows for the natural dissolution of the emotion.

Example: You may notice that the knot in your stomach softens after a few minutes or that the tightness in your chest lightens as you sit with it. Observe these shifts without clinging to or resisting them.

Release the Emotion Without Forcing

Direction: As the emotion begins to subside, gently release it. You don’t need to push it away or force it out—just allow it to pass naturally. This is a passive, non-violent process.

Why it matters: Forcing an emotion to leave creates resistance. Natural release happens when you’re fully present with the emotion and allow it to be.

Example: You might feel a sense of relief or lightness after the emotion subsides. Allow this shift to happen without effort. Trust that your body knows how to process and release emotions on its own.

Repeat as Necessary

Direction: Emotions might return, especially if they are tied to deeper patterns or unresolved experiences. If the same emotion arises again, repeat the process from the beginning. Each time you do this, it becomes easier to release.

Why it matters: Emotional release is not a one-time event. It’s an ongoing process. Repetition strengthens emotional resilience and teaches you that you can handle any emotion.

Example: If anxiety reappears later in the day, go through the steps again. Each time you complete the process, you reinforce your emotional intelligence and ability to self-soothe.

Notice the Shift to Higher Consciousness

Direction: Over time, as you release negative emotions, you’ll notice more peace, calm, and acceptance in your life. Reflect on the shifts that occur after letting go, and recognize that you’re moving toward greater emotional freedom.

Example: After letting go of anger, you might feel more compassionate and patient. Take a moment to appreciate this positive shift and acknowledge the growth in your emotional maturity.